Thursday, December 8, 2011

then and now....

Its been awhile since ive been on here, and to be honest i kind of forgot i even had this blog at one point. I have been in a weird state of mind recently, questioning a lot of things, wondering what life has in store for me, what direction my life should go, etc. Things 3 years ago seemed so simple, play poker, hit the gym, and kick it with friends. Here i am 3 years later and while my daily habits havent changed too much, it seems that everyone elses around me has. My friends have jobs to go to everyday, my little brothers and sisters are getting all grown up, and my parents and grandparents are all seem much older than just 3 years ago. I do my best to keep busy and spend time with the people that matter to me but ill be honest this life is can be lonely, especially as a poker player. I dont know if i just look at things in a negative way or if im just realistic about how things are but the people of this world just seem lost. Everyone is going through the routine, whether it be something they wanted for their life or not, and just going through the motions. It is a very small minority that are out there doing things that actually matter. Whether it be helping others or bettering society in a way that no one else does. Not very many find true happiness while on this earth and i would say that is true from a stand point of someone who believes in religion or is an atheist.

As ive looked back and read through some of my blogs i havent seen a ton of progress on my part. Yes ive gained knowledge in certain areas and yes ive made some money and ive traveled to some places. But im still working on the same things, im still struggling with the same consistency issues. Its odd that i know that i have been at a standstill for some time and even though i know it and i dont want it i struggle to do anything about it. From most viewpoints i assume most would say that im doing ok, that ive made some money, I have most everything i would need and i should be happy with that. But if i looked at it that way i feel like i would be settling when i feel i am capable of so much more. I see how everyone lives around me and how unsatisfied they are with their current situation and how most never do anything about it. I dont want that life for me but some reason i feel like that is how things are heading. Maybe im to hard on myself or maybe my expectations of others is too high, perhaps even somewhere in between.

I am not really sure why im writing this or where it is headed, but maybe just seeing some of my thoughts and feelings written down is helpful enough in itself.

I think as Ive gotten older and i see the people around me getting older i get a little scared. I had plans for where i wanted my life to be by this time and since they are not where i expected them to be i guess i associate that with failure. And while i do not think my life or the things i have done have been a failure they have certainly not been a blazing success. I have a lot to work on and a lot to think about what direction i want my life to go. I know God has a place in this and that from a Christian stand point they would say "well stop trying to control everything and listen to God more" but that's much easier said that done. To give up control of ones life seems illogical and almost reckless. I can see why some would say "hey now that's why this whole idea of religion seems crazy to me." But to think that this is it, that things just end after we die and everything was for nothing and meant nothing, just seems so sad and pointless.

I have a lot of questions that need answering. I know there is no quick fix for the problems we face but i pray that i never find myself stagnant and just going through the motions. These two quotes very much exemplify that state of where i am and the way i need to look at each individual obstacle that crosses my path.

"In the middle of a difficulty lies opportunity."
- Albert Einstein

"Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still."
- Chinese Proverb

A verse to leave you with also

Titus 2:11-12

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men. Telling us to deny ungodliness and worldly passions and to live sensibly, righteously, and Godly.

Monday, February 2, 2009


So last month ended up being my best month so far as far as cash games go. Even though i didnt get many hands it the heat rock was with me so i didnt need to. I think i finished up with about 14k hands and another 12 hours or so of live play. As for money made, i made 63.5k online playing between 5/10-25/50 mostly 6 max and HU. And for live i played 10/20 and profited around 7.5k. So this leaves me with my best month so far (for cash games).

Not really much else to note except i got a trip to Utah for my friends birthday and we plan on doing a bunch of snowboarding.

God Bless


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Decision Made

So it looks as if im not going to be going back to school. I talked around with friends/family and everyone said that they knew school wasnt for me. The good thing about it is i can always come back to it if i need it. School is always going to be there, whereas who knows where the future of online poker is ganna end up. Who knows though i still got a week and something might persuade me to go back but i doubt it. As for life, im loving it. I dont know what it is but i wake up most days real happy and ready to start most days. Its kind of weird cause i do the same thing most days so you would think it would get old. But it doesnt. hahahaha.

As for poker its been kind of swingy. Yesterday i started off up around 4kish and played for a decent amount of time and decide that bluffing was the right way to go. And it wasnt, i ended up dropping around 6.5k yesterday in just bad play, so i just quit for the day. Same kind of thing went down today, as far as swingyness goes. I felt i played really well but just happened to get into some spots that didnt go my way. I think for that session it went something like down 5k up 5k and finally end up like around even for the day. Poker is fun

wells thats all folks (even though there is hardly anyone out there)

God Bless


Friday, January 23, 2009


Not real sure if anyone reads but i think im going to try to blog it up a little maybe...3-4 times a week with just little life/poker updates...

So '08 ended up being a pretty sick year. My goal was to make 96k for the year and i exceeded that by a pretty big margin. So that makes me pretty happy. I have some pretty big goals for this year that im not going to go into right now but its going to be exciting.

As for life i have a little bit of a dilemma. This spring i was planning on going back to school to get my degree but turns out that there is a lot going on this spring. I have been talking with friends/poker players who have a lot of plans for traveling in the spring and that is something im very much interested in. So i have until monday to make my decision and i guess im going to go to my class and decide before the drop date if i want to finish or travel. A positive if i dont travel this spring is there is always summer.

Well thats it for now

God Bless


Monday, October 27, 2008

BOOOM!!!! 83k in a week

Well since my last post things have been pretty money. I was down about 11k or so in cash games (mostly 5/10) and i managed to get that back to even in about 6k hands or so. I felt i played really well last week as far as cash games. I'm really working hard to not spew and do some do things that do not make sense. I still have some leaks that have carried over from 2/4 and i am just now realizing how far i have to go to become an elite player.

Now for the exciting stuff!!!! So Sunday is basically my tourney day and i am going to try to keep it that way (its a nice change of pace). So i set my alarm early so i can get in all the warm up donkaments and i end up busting in the in the Sunday Brawl with a set vs open ended straight draw and he bangs and i am out. I do not really remember how i busted in the warm up on stars but i did. So i still had one tourney running at it was one of the $100 rebuys on stars with aobut 1000 entrants and i got of to a good start and had a decent stack after the rebuy period. From there i preceeded to play really well. I felt i was changing gears at the right times and just seemed to be on top of things. but once we got down to the final 30 players i ran really well getting it in bad about 3-4 times and owning everytime. Once the final table hit i had my buddy Dodgyken sweat with me and help me with some of the math aspects and prize money stuff. I think i might have busted earlier but he helped me to stay sane and not monkey jam against the chip leader a few times. So we get 4 handed and the chip leader is being a real homo 3 betting a lot and just being a dick in general. But i just needed to wait out the shorty who only had 200k with blinds 20k/40k and finally he busted and it was time to gamble 3 handed. The other two guys loved to battle it out and i just let them do that while trying to pick my spots carefully. The chip leader bust the other guy and we go heads up and first hand we get it all in A2o vs AKo and we both hit our cards but his K holds to take it down. So ship me the 50k and the biggest week of my life.

As for my life things have been really good. This weekend i had a lot of fun my buddy had a costume party and all our friend went down and we had a good time. Costume parties in general set the tone for having a good night. We will see what this weekend holds with Holloween coming up, hopefully its a lot of fun.

God Bless


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I'm a bum

As far as blogging goes i am definitely a bum. For whatever reason i can't bring myself to come on here 3-4 times a week a write up a summary of whats been going on. I'm intrigued by the idea of blogging and looking back at in the future but to actually do it is a whole other story. But is something i plan to work and do more often.

Ill try and give a little up date of how things went in the previous months in poker. In August i think i made around 20k but i am not 100% on that. Now September was my weakest month ever as far as putting in hands go. I think a major contributor to that was buying a PS3, which was a great idea and a horrible one all at the same time. I think i managed to make a decent amount around 14k and that was over about 13k hands online and about 7 days of live play in vegas and at the commerce. Now on to the present month. I managed to start this month off with a BOOOOOOM dropping 15k pretty quickly in run bad and play bad style. I fought back and got it down to 7k then the next day bam dropped 4k and i seemed to just rinse and repeat this for about 2 weeks. Then for whatever reason i hop in some sunday donkaments and manage to final table the Sunday Brawl and get 5th for a solid 22k (best tourney cash eva). so that put me in the positive for the month and it feels good. Also after i had that cash i managed in the last 3 days or so do pull my game together a bit and scrap up 10k in my last 5k hands at 3/6-10/20. So my month has really turned around and i just hope i can continue to play well and fill some leaks that i still have.

On a side note i recently got asked to coach a midstakes player and we had our first session. Overall it went pretty good, we managed to find a few leaks in his preflop game that would help his all around game as far as bluffing frequency and getting into marginal spots postflop go. So as far as coaching goes i think i am going to try to pick a few more students. Maybe try to get some that want some on a regular basis and help some lil ones own the souls of many.

Now for the life stuff. Life as been going good i think i found a good balance between playing poker, working out, and hanging out with the friends. Although right now i enjoy playing poker more than any of those things. This weekend and next weekend should be fun because me and all my friends have a lot of things planned for holloween. This thursday we are going to Knotts scary farm which i hope was better than the one time i went but still all in all pretty sick. Then this friday my friend is having a costume party and his place in LA. And then im not even sure what we are doing holloween weekend as there is a bunch of little things that our friends are doing so who knows what we end up doing.

Well thats it for now

God Bless


Saturday, August 2, 2008


Well sorry its been awhile im kind of a bum with this whole blogging thing but im going to try to get better at it. I think if i can post some stuff 3 times a week that would be sufficient.

Well as for poker this past month it was my best month ever. I made 22k playing a combination of 2/4, 3/6, 5/10 and some 5/10 live also. I felt i played good but not my A game at all times. Another problem is i only managed to play 31k hands and i need to be playing 45k-50k hands a month to really see some truly great months. This is something im going to be working on but being that i live in SoCal i find it hard to put in the volume with so many things going on over here and my friends always going out and such. I think it would be a lot easier if i lived in the middle of the country where all the boring people live. But that is not the case and i need to find a way to do it anyways.

So thats it for now hopefully i can get some life stuff going on in here but for now that is all.

God Bless